Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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