wake up i wanna do it froggy style
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
