I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize