I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
