Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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