you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize