so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
