i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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