One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
