Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
