Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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