Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
