don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
