I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
