The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
