Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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