we're blogging at a bar
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
