just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize