Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
