I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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