Welp...herpes.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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