Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
