I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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