you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
