All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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