did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
