Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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