Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize