She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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