I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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