would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
