So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
