Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
