I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
