I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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