I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
