No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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