I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
