he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
