what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
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