If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
