i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
