This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you inspire me to be a worse person
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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