Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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