I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
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