He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
