New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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