what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
