There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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