Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
