if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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