You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
are you so shy because you have an std?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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