How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
