I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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