WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
