I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
