We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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