the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
