Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize