Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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