yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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